GOVERNMENT DECIDES ON REPLACEMENT BRIDGE

Wittig has learned that the inhabitants of the BC Legislature have at last made up their minds about the Blue Bridge; it is to be replaced by a new bridge which has been designed by an American company who will also build and install the structure.

But there are still a couple of questions to be answered:

 What happens if the earthquake hits when the bridge is open and there is no power?
Waggishness has been informed that provision has been made for this “most unlikely occurrence” in that there will be two large wheels on each side of the bridge which will be operated on the well tried and tested principle of the hamster wheel. These wheels will be operated by the first unaffected humans who are able to reach the bridge, climb into the wheels and then walk in the appropriate direction to lower it to the horizontal position. Whether the deck lines up with the remains of the road on the other shore remains to be seen, but the MLA’s seem to be relying heavily on the reassurances being given by the engineering company contracted and paid to design and build the bridge.

             What happens if the earthquake hits when the bridge is on its way down, low enough to stop emergency vessels from passing underneath but still too high for emergency traffic to drive onto it?
In view of the fact that the existing bridge opens on average 4 to 6 times daily, according to the Department of Statistics, this might well happen. However the Minister of Power said that this eventuality is covered by the fact that his Ministry is building a backup generator well away from the bridge area, but which can be brought into use, “at a moment’s notice”. Since this meeting, Wittig has discovered that the generator house is to be built exactly on the fault line.

             What happens if the earthquake hits before the new bridge is ready?
According to the Minister of Power, if this was to happen there would be no problem at all as the existing bridge will still be in use during construction of the new one.

When the Minister was then asked, “In that case, why are we bothering to build a new bridge?” He said that he had to rush back to the Lege in order to cast his vote on the decision that had already been made to replace the existing Blue Bridge.