MAJOR CHANGE MAY BE COMING TO TRAFFIC ACT

Audible sighs could be heard coming from the BC provincial legislature yesterday when the government thought it had passed a major change to the Traffic Act sect 128 sub sect 24.7, by a vote of 105 to 104. No one was sure of the number of abstentions as the person responsible for counting those MLA’s was on holiday.

As a result of this possible change, from November 5th 2010 (see Wikipedia for date reference) it will be the responsibility of every driver using a parking space in the metered area of downtown Victoria to procure a bracelet from the blue meter towers that at present only take money for parking. These bracelets will work on the same principle as the prisoner ankle bracelets which constantly check on the whereabouts of a prisoner.

The driver bracelet will be worn on the wrist and will have an audible warning signal that tells the wearer when they have reached their maximum allowed distance from their car; initially this will be set at 200 metres. Once the person has reached this distance, should the wearer choose to disregard the signal they will receive an electric shock, similar to that given by the RCMP’s Taser guns which they have been using to great effect of late.

The wearer may stay within their allotted area for the one hour which comes free when they pay for the bracelet, or return to their vehicle and move it to another space at least 200 metres away, and purchase another bracelet in order to continue shopping. Anyone disregarding these rules will find that their car has been towed away to a local corral.

Bids have been received by the Municipal authority for the contract to remove the cars of offending drivers and receive the fines of a minimum of $500.00 (more if the vehicle is left overnight). In view of the fact that an official from the Ministry would neither confirm nor deny that a contract had been awarded,  Wittig did its own investigating and discovered that the contract has gone to a good friend of the Premier.

During this investigation, Wittig asked about the effect that this change might have on shopping downtown, let alone tourism. We were told by a Ministry official that, “This change in the Act is a great success for the Government of the day; and, as such, our expert advisors advise us that we can expect a steady increase in retail revenues, going forward, and in the number of tourists visiting our wonderful city in the future.” When the Minister was reminded of the fact that there was plenty of free parking at three large Malls around the edge of the city, she said, “No comment,” and smiled for the cameras before scuttling back into the Legislature.